If Dr. Seuss wrote for Agnes
& her handler (me)
(if we could actually converse that is)
______________________________________
(if we could actually converse that is)
______________________________________
ME: Agnes, Agnes, time to train.
Lots a fun, now don't complain...
AGNES: Train? OH train! I'd rather run!
Run and run until I'M DONE.
ME: Stop your running now I say.
You halt right now...or Stop... or Stay…
AGNES: A stay? a halt? Is that a term ?
A command? A request ? Or just a word ?
ME: Obedience? A Vizsla? A talent for sure!
Sits will not happen, the tails in a whir!
A simple recall? Yes come right now!
Agnes! Again, I'll show you how!
Please Vizsla gal give learning a try?
AGNES: Sorry dear owner, one minute....
Agnes! Again, I'll show you how!
Please Vizsla gal give learning a try?
AGNES: Sorry dear owner, one minute....
ZOOOOM... Bye!
ME: May I suggest toys to motivate ?
Perhaps afterwards a hike we'll take?
Agnes dear a piece of cheddar ?
Food always makes the training better.
AGNES: This training thing is silly folly...
Perhaps you should try a Border Collie?
ME: But you and I we are a team...
AGNES: Obedience stuff's a human dream!
ME: Enough, you Vizsla. Please desist.
I understand -- I get your gist.
But can't we agree on a thing?
Agility, obedience, or the breed ring ?
AGNES: YES ! The breed ring
ME: May I suggest toys to motivate ?
Perhaps afterwards a hike we'll take?
Agnes dear a piece of cheddar ?
Food always makes the training better.
AGNES: This training thing is silly folly...
Perhaps you should try a Border Collie?
ME: But you and I we are a team...
AGNES: Obedience stuff's a human dream!
ME: Enough, you Vizsla. Please desist.
I understand -- I get your gist.
But can't we agree on a thing?
Agility, obedience, or the breed ring ?
AGNES: YES ! The breed ring
might give me a chance ...
to demonstrate my Vizsla Dance
ME: A Vizsla Dance? The stress is back!
No dance in breed rings! That's a fact!
AGNES: It's really just a fancy prance,
That’s done with Vizsla flair…
ME: I've seen the flair you Vizsla have…
Things tossed from here to there!
AGNES: Do you want teamwork?
Yes you do!
And ribbons by the ton?
Do you want smiles on your face
to demonstrate my Vizsla Dance
ME: A Vizsla Dance? The stress is back!
No dance in breed rings! That's a fact!
AGNES: It's really just a fancy prance,
That’s done with Vizsla flair…
ME: I've seen the flair you Vizsla have…
Things tossed from here to there!
AGNES: Do you want teamwork?
Yes you do!
And ribbons by the ton?
Do you want smiles on your face
and me to have my fun ?
ME: Yes to all without a doubt, but please no breed ring moves…
I'd rather stick to obedience
ME: Yes to all without a doubt, but please no breed ring moves…
I'd rather stick to obedience
then breed ring boogie grooves!
AGNES: My tail does wag, my tongue does lick.
My movement fluid and very quick.
My nose is set to smell and find --
To never leave a bird behind!
On point I do not budge or sway,
Yet all you care about is "stay"!
These words of "heel" "come" “sit” and “down”…
Obedience does make me frown.
ME: Think of the ribbons we could earn …
a Vizsla second to just learn !
AGNES: I see your whining will not cease,
and yes I will concede.
So here's YOUR sit, YOUR down, YOUR stays,
AND here's a heel off lead!
When you say these nonsense words, and wave your hands about…
I promise I'll respond so quick YOU'LL never have to shout.
A promise that will truly stick…
A promise we'll make today…
A promise of precision moves that I always will obey!
ME: A promise, Oh my Vizsla friend
Our troubles now are at an end!
Wait your lips are in that Vizsla grin,
WHY you look like you now have the WIN!
AGNES: A win? A win?
Why surely not, though you must now agree…
that I will do as pointed out with a promise now to me.
ME : Ah, my Vizsla darling, just name what is my part
For I agree to anything, sincere and from my heart.
AGNES : Well, though your tail is very short,
and your nose a bit off center,
though you don't move with Vizsla grace,
I will be your mentor.
ME : A mentor ? Oh, like I for you ?
To teach, to help to grow.
To assist along the way
in obedience and in show ?
AGNES : Why yes like that,
but here’s the thing
our sharing will be in the VIZSLA ring!
The breed ring is where we'll shine,
where we'll win,
we'll be divine!
For you and I , I have your promise,
will give those judges a stir,
when together we gait about with our tails both in a whir!
For I'll instruct the Vizsla art of tail shaking one – oh - one,
of how to move , and how to groove, while wiggling our cute buns!
We'll leap, and trot around the ring to music that we hear,
We'll twist and shout and look so grand while wagging both our rears!
Oh the joy we'll bring to all who watch us strut our VIZSLA stuff,
But you'll need to be like me you know and wiggle in the buff.
Yes, we have reached a special bond.
The best we’ve ever had!
AGNES: My tail does wag, my tongue does lick.
My movement fluid and very quick.
My nose is set to smell and find --
To never leave a bird behind!
On point I do not budge or sway,
Yet all you care about is "stay"!
These words of "heel" "come" “sit” and “down”…
Obedience does make me frown.
ME: Think of the ribbons we could earn …
a Vizsla second to just learn !
AGNES: I see your whining will not cease,
and yes I will concede.
So here's YOUR sit, YOUR down, YOUR stays,
AND here's a heel off lead!
When you say these nonsense words, and wave your hands about…
I promise I'll respond so quick YOU'LL never have to shout.
A promise that will truly stick…
A promise we'll make today…
A promise of precision moves that I always will obey!
ME: A promise, Oh my Vizsla friend
Our troubles now are at an end!
Wait your lips are in that Vizsla grin,
WHY you look like you now have the WIN!
AGNES: A win? A win?
Why surely not, though you must now agree…
that I will do as pointed out with a promise now to me.
ME : Ah, my Vizsla darling, just name what is my part
For I agree to anything, sincere and from my heart.
AGNES : Well, though your tail is very short,
and your nose a bit off center,
though you don't move with Vizsla grace,
I will be your mentor.
ME : A mentor ? Oh, like I for you ?
To teach, to help to grow.
To assist along the way
in obedience and in show ?
AGNES : Why yes like that,
but here’s the thing
our sharing will be in the VIZSLA ring!
The breed ring is where we'll shine,
where we'll win,
we'll be divine!
For you and I , I have your promise,
will give those judges a stir,
when together we gait about with our tails both in a whir!
For I'll instruct the Vizsla art of tail shaking one – oh - one,
of how to move , and how to groove, while wiggling our cute buns!
We'll leap, and trot around the ring to music that we hear,
We'll twist and shout and look so grand while wagging both our rears!
Oh the joy we'll bring to all who watch us strut our VIZSLA stuff,
But you'll need to be like me you know and wiggle in the buff.
Yes, we have reached a special bond.
The best we’ve ever had!
Hey, why are you now phoning that Border Collie ad ?
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